Eau de Beast
by DarkSabertooth
Summary: Remy agrees to try out Hanks new experimental cologne to find to his regret that it is all too powerful-FINISHED
1. Default Chapter

Henry McCoy was in a rather jubilant mood. After weeks of effort he had finally succeeded in his latest project. This was not a Herculean task such as curing the Legacy Virus but a little side project which McCoy had found fascinating. He had managed to isolate his own musk and combine it with pheromones from various species of mammal and from Wolverine. The final result was a cologne which Hank hoped would be a marketable project. The only thing he needed to do now was to find a volunteer willing to test it.

"Wait chere. Dere is no need to be angry with Gambit. He cannot help it if the Cajun charm makes him such a big hit with the ladies non?," said Remy desperately.

Rogue's slap spun his head round and sent him flying backwards to slam into a wall. Before he could get to his feet a furious Rogue sent him cringing away with a glare worthy of Wolverine.

"Ah don't want to hear any excuses from ya'll Remy. Ah think you ought to be ashamed of yourself for even thinking about it. Jubilee is much to young for you and ah thought you loved me," said Rogue.

"Chere I was only flirting with her. You know that you're the only woman for me," protested Remy.

"Ah suppose ah can understand why you'd want to find another woman. Ah can't even touch you for fear of what I might do but ah can still be hurt Remy. Until you can decide to love a woman properly we're over," said Rogue and she turned her back on the shocked Cajun.

Remy LeBeau slumped to his knees and sighed heavily. He loved Rogue but had to admit she was right about how hard it was when he could never kiss her or love her the way he wanted to. It had been purely innocent with Jubilee and he wished she could see it that way. She had wanted him to go to the mall with her and he pretended to be reluctant and made her persuade him. In the end he had told her that a kiss would make him decide to go with her and she had happily agreed to this. He would never dare to try and break Jubilee's heart or take advantage of her. That would result in Logan becoming angered and nobody in their right mind wanted to be on the receiving end of that anger. Now Rogue was probably on her way to tell Wolverine about his little flirtation and shortly he would have the unenviable task of convincing the feral of his innocence.

"My condolences on your lamentable situation my good friend. However do not despair for any longer because your salvation is at hand in the form of my fine furry self," said a happy Hank as he bounded up to the melancholy Cajun.

"Gambit think dat no-one can help him,"sighed Remy.

"Au contraire mon ami. You simply need some of this. Why don't you try this out and your women troubles will be at an end,"said Hank and he proffered a small phial to Remy.

Curious Remy took the bottle from the oversized hand.

"What is this Hank?," asked Remy.

"The answer to your prayers. I call it Eau de Beast," said Hank.


	2. Next Victim err Test Subject

Hank's furry face split into a broad grin as he chuckled to himself. He knew that Remy was already a great lady-killer without any help but the added effects of his new cologne would be most fascinating. Like all good scientists Hank knew that you needed more than one test subject for a good experiment. He scratched his hirsute chin with a clawed finger as his great intellect selected his next "volunteer".

"Oh stars and garters! He will do very nicely," said Hank and white fangs showed in a triumphant grin.

Bobby Drake was watching Gundam Wing with Jubilee in the lounge. She was supposed to be doing her homework but there was more to life than musty books. Anyway she was under adult supervision although adult was a relative term when it came to him.

"Bobby will you come to the mall with me? Wolvie's in one of his grumpy moods and he wouldn't come and Remy got in trouble with Rogue," said Jubilee.

"Sure as long as you help me come up with a good prank to play on Jean," said Bobby.

"How about substituting her hair dye for some Nair. That worked wonderfully with Logan," said Jubilee.

"I don't know Jubilee. I was lucky to escape with my life when he caught me. I've still got the bruises," said Bobby.

There was a knock at the door and Bobby cautiously opened it. Seeing no-one in the corridor he wondered if he was hearing things. He never thought of checking the ceiling and suffered a near cardiac arrest when Hank's furry face peered upside down into his own.

"Oh man. I wish ya wouldn't do that Hank," said Bobby.

"My apologies my cryogenically gifted friend. I see that you and our dear young Jubilee are engaged in recreational activities when she should be studying," said Hank sternly.

"Were studying Japanese culture Hank. You're not going to tell Cyke are you?," asked Jubilee anxiously.

"I am a compassionate man Robert. I will not tell a soul if you agree to try out this little concoction for me," said Hank.

"What is it?," asked Bobby wearily. He gazed into the guileless face. Dressed as he was in jeans, a T-shirt and a baseball cap Hank still managed to look stern.

"Possibly the perfect cologne my friend. I hope it will be effective on attracting the attention of beautiful women," said Hank.

"Okay you persuaded me Hankster. Hand it over," said Bobby.

"Certainly my dear fellow," said Hank benignly. With that Bobby set out to see just how successful Hank's latest creation would be.

"What are you up to Hank. Come on let me in on your little secret," said Jubilee as she ruffled the fur on Hank's arm.

"I'm conducting a scientific experiment my charming young protégé. I would welcome an assistant. If you like you can help me find more volunteers. For now how about I go to the mall with you. I've run out of Twinkies so I need to get a new supply in," said Hank.

"Well thank you Hank. At least someone here knows how to treat a lady," said Jubilee as she gave him a kiss on his furry cheek. Then she gave him a look with puppy dog eyes.

"Well Ok Jubilee. Hop on," said Hank as he bent down to give her a piggy back ride. Then they set out on a mission of utmost urgency. Shopping to Jubilee was not a matter of life or death. It was far more important than that.


	3. Two More Complete The Set

"Yeehaa! Ride 'em cowboy," yelled Jubilee as her blue-furred mount galloped down the corridor to halt at the top of the stair. Jubilee leapt off and noticed that Hank was wearing a pained grimace on his face.

"What's the matter Hank. I'm not too heavy am I?" asked Jubilee in concern.

"No Jubilee you are possessed of a petite figure despite your preference for foods high in sugar and cholesterol. However try not to kick me in the sides as I'm sure even now bruises are forming beneath my luxuriant blue fur," said Hank gently.

"Sorry Hank. I take it that means that you're not up to sliding down the banister," said Jubilee.

"I really think that this would be most unsuitable behavior but then again all work and no play makes Hank a dull Beast. Let's go for it," said Hank.

With that Hank climbed onto the banister and with Jubilee nestled in his lap slid all the way down to the bottom. There they were met by Scott who didn't seem at all amused. Even though his eyes were hidden by his visor they could still feel his stern gaze. With hands on hips Scott seemed to weigh up Jubilee and Hank and find them wanting.

"I hope you have a good explanation for why you're carrying on in such a juvenile manner Hank. As for Jubilee I thought that she was supposed to be studying," said Scott.

"Oh Cyke, I'm with Hank so I'm under adult supervision," said Jubilee petulantly.

"I apologize for my boisterous high spirits my monocular friend. Henceforth young Jubilation and I will depart and undertake a vital expedition to our local mall which will give some peace and quiet," said Hank.

"I'm looking forward to it. By the way I've heard reports of you handing out a mysterious concoction to Remy and Bobby. Would you care to explain this to me?," asked Scott.

"Certainly. It's a little cologne that I call Eau de Beast. As compensation for my unbecoming conduct would you like some to try? I think Jean would love it," said Hank smoothly.

"Well I was taking her out to dinner and I want to surprise her. I don't see that an experimental cologne could cause any harm. Thank you Hank," said Scott.

After Scott had departed Jubilee and Hank exchanged a triumphant grin at having gained another subject for the experiment. Jubilee had a thought and whispered in Hank's ear.

"Well he always finds it hard to refuse you my dear so go right ahead. I'll be waiting in eager anticipation of your success," said Hank. Jubilee planted a kiss on his furry cheek and set off to find her target.

Jubilee knocked on the door to Logan's quarters and ignored the half-hearted growl. She knocked again and the door opened a crack and revealed a glaring hazel eye under shaggy brows. With a heavy sigh Logan opened the door and stepped back to allow Jubilee to enter. She strode over to his bed and sat down on it bouncing up and down a few times to get comfortable.

"I'm sorry darlin but I'm still not taking ya ta the mall today. I just ain't in the mood fer it. I'll do something with ya tomorrow ta make up fer it if ya like," said Logan.

"That's alright Wolvie. Hank's agreed to take me and he also gave me something for you. It's a present for me to cheer you up," said Jubilee and she held out the cologne for Logan to see.

Logan raised a shaggy brow and gazed at the cologne. He tended to avoid such things as he found the smell of them over-powering. It wasn't as though he shaved everyday either so it would hardly get used. Stroking his hand across his stubbly chin he came to a decision.

"It's a nice thought darlin but I ain't really one fer cologne. If ya want ta cheer me up then ya can get me a six-pack," said Logan.

Jubilee then used her ultimate weapon. She looked at Logan with puppy dog eyes and put her hand on his shoulder.

"Oh please Wolvie I just want to make you happy. You're the closest thing I have to a father now and you mean the world to me. I just want you to know how much you mean to me and Hank really thought you would like this cologne and I did as well. You know how much I love you don't you? Won't you try it just for me Wolvie?," said Jubilee.

Logan felt his heart melting and he felt very tender towards Jubilee. He never could resist her when she turned on the charm and this was no exception. One final glance from those puppy dog eyes banished all resistance and he was utterly at her mercy. A tear fell from the corner of his eye and ran down his cheek and a smile spread across his face.

"Alright darling just ta make ya happy," said Logan.

"Thank you Wolvie," said Jubilee and she kissed his stubbly cheek before placing the cologne in his unresisting hand. She successfully hid her triumphant smirk until she left the room.


	4. Things Are Only Just Beginning

There was a swagger in her step as Jubilee made her way back towards Hank. The smirk on her face told him all that he needed to know. Of course it had been a foregone conclusion since Sabretooth, Lady Deathstrike and Magneto together presented less of a challenge for Logan than resisting Jubilee. A healing factor, adamantium skeleton and claws and hyper senses were as nothing against puppy dog eyes and a "please Wolvie".

"You now have one more test subject Hank. It wasn't easy but I put on my best daddy's little girl act and he fell for it hook, line and sinker. In fact he was nearly in tears at the end. He's probably putting on the cologne even as we speak," said Jubilee.

"Oh my stars and garters Jubilee but you really are incorrigible. We are most fortunate that you are on our side. Still my friend with the coat of vivid hue we have places to go and things to buy," said Hank.

"Yeah let's see how many shops we can get through in two hours. We'd better take some samples with us just in case we get an opportunity," said Jubilee.

"I don't think my cologne is quite ready for the public yet but I'll take one bottle with me just in case. It's always best to be prepared after all. Oh almost forgot. I'd better switch on my image inducer. After all my blue-furred form is quite well known and I don't want to be the target of mobs of adoring women," said Hank.

Without further ado he set his image inducer to appear as a normal human and Jubilee once again marveled at its effectiveness. She knew that this image was how he used to appear before he changed. His ginger hair was now of cause blue fur and his blue eyes were the only thing about him that had remained the same. Smiling she reached out and took Hank by the hand at first startled by the feel of fur instead of skin but then it wasn't really any different to holding Logan's hand. 

Logan was watching them from the window as they left. For a few moments he regretted not going with Jubilee but he really was not in the mood today. Tomorrow of cause he would make it up to her and go the mall willingly. Probably a visit to the superbowl or to see a movie would be in order. Then he would pretend to be grumpy and bored while secretly enjoying himself. Of course Jubilee would pretend to be taken in by this when she knew that he was enjoying himself in spite of himself. That was all part of the fun of course.

"I suppose I might as well see what this cologne smells like," said Logan as he opened the bottle and inhaled.

To his surprise it was a delight to his senses. Just one little sniff made him feel so much happier and his black mood was now only a memory. Perhaps McCoy's little Eau de Beast was just what the doctor ordered so to speak. A grin tugged at the corners of his lips and his rough hewn features softened as he smiled. He quickly applied a generous amount of the cologne and then decided to go and see the other X-Men. He was really feeling quite euphoric now.

"Guten morgen Logan. It's nice to see you so happy mein freund," said Kurt Wagner as Logan passed him.

Logan gave Kurt a dazzling smile and then embraced the astonished X-Man before he could even think of teleporting. Kurt found himself hugged so tightly that he was sure his ribs were going to crack. Then Logan drew his face close to Kurt's and for one horrifying moment Kurt thought he was going to kiss him. Instead Logan gave a gentle laugh and simply beamed into Kurt's face.

"Kurt my friend it's so great ta see ya. Ya know that yer my favourite fuzzy elf don't ya. I'm so glad that were friends and that we'll always be here fer one another. I love ya fuzzy elf," said Logan.

He gave Kurt another gentle affectionate hug before setting him back down. He ruffled Kurt's fur with one hand and then gave him a pat on the head before strolling off whistling a merry tune. Baffled Kurt could only watch him leave.

"I'm fond of you too Logan but I would not think to be so demonstrative about it," muttered Kurt.

Remy was feeling considerably better now that he had tried on the new cologne. As usual he was stylishly dressed and neatly groomed and he was all set to impress the ladies. Now he would just have to go out and get Rogue some nice flowers, a bottle of wine and an expensive present and then he would be ready to apologise to her. Of course she would forgive him and then everything would be fine. At least until the next beautiful woman came along and distracted him. Still he could hardly help it if women kept finding him irresistibly attractive and he never made them do anything they weren't willing to do.

He heard a knock at the door and opened it to get an eyeful of cleavage. This impressive cleavage belonged to the perfect physique and stunning beauty of the female telepath known as Emma Frost. Remy tore his glance upwards and managed to look her in the eye. Those dreamy blue eyes and long silky blonde hair helped to keep his gaze from traveling downwards but it was no easy task. It didn't help that she was in one of her usual revealing white leather costumes.

"Hello Remy. I'm here to speak to Xavier and I'm sure a handsome and dashing man such as yourself would be willing to assist a woman in need. If you could take me to him I would be most pleased. I'm sure that you want to please me don't you," said Emma.

"Of course chere, nothing would please Remy more than to assist a belle dame like you. If you care to step dis way," said Remy before he noticed Emma staring at him.

He reasoned that she was probably checking him out which was fine since he had done the same to her. That look in her eyes though told him that she was planning to go further. He was still surprised though when she grabbed him and pulled him to her so that he nearly got a face full of cleavage. Then her lips met his and she kissed him deeply and passionately to his mixed surprise, pleasure and fear.

Rogue happened to be flying around the corner at that moment. Seeing Remy apparently making out with Remy in the hall she was overcome with rage. She increased her speed determined to snatch up Emma and dump her in the pond to cool her ardour. Then Remy would have a lot of explaining to do and if he was extremely fortunate he might get off with severe bruises instead of having every bone in his body broken.

"Remy what in tarnation are yah doing with that no good hussy," snarled Rogue.

"She just threw herself at me chere," said Remy which didn't improve Rogue's mood one iota.

Then she suddenly smelt his cologne and here mood underwent a rapid reversal. She pushed Emma aside sending her flying into a wall and tenderly picked Remy up. Baffled by this Remy could only watch in terror as she hugged him gently and then kissed him full on the lips with immediate and devastating consequences.


	5. Fight For Your Man

"Oh mah goodness why did ah have tah go and do a darn thing like that. Remy, honey yah going to be alright because ah'm just going tah fly y'all tah the infirmary. Then Cecilia can look after y'all."

Rogue bent to pick up Remy but managed to charge up a bust that she brushed against. She threw herself over Remy to protect him from the flying shards of marble then still muttering about what came over her she picked Remy up to fly him to the infirmary. Of course Dr Cecilia Reyes would take good care of Remy. In fact she'd take real good care of him.

"Emma you took a nasty bump. Are you alright?" asked Bobby in a voice full of concern.

Emma woke up and smelt his cologne and she gave an enigmatic smile. Then she moaned and put on a great display of being in terrible pain. Concerned Bobby leaned towards her and she grinned before grabbing him round the neck smothering him to her bosom. Bobby got a face full of cleavage and was powerless to react as she kissed him deeply and passionately.

"Are you sure you're alright Emma. I mean it's not that I don't find you attractive and all but you don't usually act this way," said Bobby in a strangled squeak.

"Don't you find me alluring?" asked Emma in a sultry tone.

She desired this man and wanted to make him her own. Swiftly she exerted her will telepathically on him battering past his meager defenses and boosting the magnitude of his lust a hundred fold. Within seconds she had enthralled Bobby making him her helpless slave who lived only to fulfill her slightest whim.

~* Now pick me up in your arms and take me to your bed*~ 

Emma smiled and wrapped her arms around Bobby's froze form as he created an ice slide to take her to his room. She was sure that this would turn out to be a very enjoyable day indeed. 

"Mmm Scott I love your cologne. You know it really makes a woman hungry for her man."

Scott was alas speechless possibly because of the way that Jean was draping herself all over him. She also had her hands on his chest in a manner which was rather forward for Jean. It wasn't that he didn't enjoy the attention but it was rather overwhelming. She kissed him and he was lost in the enjoyment of the moment.

Then the kiss stopped and Jean suddenly seemed to lose interest in him as she stared over Scott's shoulder. Scott turned to see Logan standing there with an uncharacteristically serene expression on his hirsute features. Logan's friendly grin was greeted with a squeal of delight as Jean ran over to him and kissed him deeply full on the lips.

"What do you think you're doing with Logan? One minute you're all over me and then the next you're all over him."

"I want you both Scott since I love you both equally. Now I'm going to use my telepathy on you to get you in the proper mood husband dear. Please don't be jealous since I love you, its just I love Logan too. Now he doesn't seem to find sharing so neither should you. The three of us are going to have a very good time."

"Are ya sure about this darlin?"

Jean sighed heavily and was about to use her telepathy on the two men when Ororo suddenly flew by and snatched up Logan. Bemused the feral hung limply in Ororo's arms and passively accepted her affections. Jean was absolutely livid on the other hand.

"Come back with that feral Storm!" yelled Jean.

"I'm sure one's more than enough dear."

"By the bright lady Jean, that husband of yours is right. Be satisfied with him alone because Logan is mine. I love this man and I claim him as my own."

"Over my dead body you do."

"Please darlins I'm sure we can work this out peacefully."

"Be quiet Logan my love."

With that Ororo flew out of the mansion and high into the skies above with Logan in her arms. Telekinetically dragging Scott behind her Jean flew off in hot pursuit. High above the mansion Jean and Ororo started an aerial duel with lightning bolts and telekinetically hurled objects flying everywhere.

Oblivious to the havoc that their cologne was wreaking Hank and Jubilee were enjoying a good browse through the mall. Hank was carrying several bags of shopping for Jubilee and now they were going for an ice-cream. In short they were blissfully happy and it seemed that nothing could happen to spoil their perfect day.

"Stars and garters Jubilee but I think we're in trouble of the large psychotic savage feral variety."

"Oh man why of all times and places does Creed have to pick here to have a rampage."

"Rarrgghh! I'm gonna rip ya ta pieces frail. Yer ain't got ya runt ta protect ya so yer gonna be easy prey."

"I'm afraid that if you want a piece of the young lady you will need to go through a piece of me first Creed. I can assure you that despite my charming furry good looks and bubbly personality I'm no pushover."

"Happy ta oblige fuzz ball!"

Snarling Creed leapt at Hank who jumped to the ceiling before jumping back down onto Creed's back. Creed tried to swat at Hank with his claws but a pair of oversized hands clapped over his eyes.

"Now Jubilee hit him with everything you've got."

Jubilee tried to ignore the panic of the crowd all around her and hit Creed with a paf. Then to her horror Creed shook of Hank and threw him at a wall. Hank landed hard and was momentarily stunned. Bravely but rashly Jubilee threw herself at Creed tackling him around the waist and sending all three of them into a heap.

A double crack was heard as Hank's image inducer shattered as well as the bottle of cologne. The contents of this sprayed liberally all over Creed, Hank and Jubilee.

Immediately Creed stopped raging and a tranquil expression settled over his face. A gentle smile curled his lips as he helped Hank and Jubilee to their feet.

"Hey I feel great. Did ya have something ta do with this fuzz ball?"

"Hank what's just happened to Creed? It's the Eau de Beast isn't it?"

"Never mind about that now Jubilee because I think we have larger problems at this moment. There happens to be a large group of women advancing on us with a most inordinate interest in our persons."

"I think ya should quit flapping and get running fuzzy."

"Creed's right Hank, I've got a bad feeling about this."

"Indubitably Jubilee. Let us vamoose."

With that the trio took to their heels and fled with a horde of women in pursuit. 


	6. Sinisters MIstake

"There it's all done Emma. What do you think? Do you like it?" Bobby asked in an anxious tone.

Reclining on the bed Emma admired Bobby's work. The ice statue of her was exquisite fully capturing her considerable beauty. Yes she liked his work, so much in fact that she was going to give him a reward. She smiled warmly to him and crooked a finger beckoning him to her.

Bobby shuffled forward somewhat nervously and knelt by the bed as she indicated for him to do. Then she gave him another of those dazzling smiles that set his heart racing and he felt her thoughts in his mind expressing praise and gratitude for a job well done. Then she kissed him on the cheek and he felt as though his heart would explode.

"Now Bobby let's see what else you can do. Surprise me this time," purred Emma.

Bobby then produced a lovely ice rose which he presented to Emma with a hopeful smile. She couldn't restrain a little gasp of pleasure and this time she kissed Bobby full on the lips. There came a muffled thud as Bobby fainted, overcome by shock.

"Drat. I'll just have to wait for him to wake up."

Meanwhile Jean and Ororo had reached an impasse and had decided to call a truce for the moment. They surveyed the carnage wrought by the battle and decided that Xavier was definitely going to have a coronary when he saw the damage. That large hole in the mansion roof and the demolished boat house would take a lot of explaining. Perhaps they could explain it as a visit by Juggernaut or a battle with some Sentinels.

"Truthfully Jean you don't deserve Logan. You've been leading him on for years and encouraging him with the odd kiss and spoken word when you know how much he cares from you. He knows he can never be with you and that is a heavy burden for his heart to carry. It's not fair on Scott either to pursue the affections of another mans heart while ignoring the good and loyal husband right there at your side."

"Well at least I've actually got feelings for Logan. I mean if you love him as much as you say you do then you've never shown it. Anyway I can't help it if men have feelings for me. At least I'm not like Emma Frost dressing up like you know what and constantly in danger of popping out of my clothes. She loves to tease men you know and I can still remember what she did with Bobby."

"At least Emma's able to attract men without needing to take over their minds. I'm sure that's what you must have done with Scott and Logan in the first place and I'm sure you dye your hair."

"Right that's it Ororo you've got me mad."

"Oh so you're going to go Dark Phoenix on us again are you?"

With that the fight between Ororo and Jean started all over again and it was even more vicious than before. Scott and Logan were watching from the comparative safety of the mansion roof. They had been placed there at the start of the fight and Scott was in no hurry to get down.

"Well Logan your berserker rages are nothing compared to the way those two are going on. You know I never knew that Ororo knew those words and Jean doesn't usually do that sort of thing. Still I'd love to know why you seem so happy. I mean you haven't growled in over an hour. I'm sure this is something to do with Hank's cologne and I'm going to have some words with our furry friend."

Unfortunately Scott might as well have been talking to himself as Logan was paying him no attention whatsoever. The short and hairy mutant was kneeling with one arm outstretched. On his hand a small bird was perched and Logan was gazing steadily at it with surprisingly mild blue eyes. This serene picture was broken only when the bird began very gently to sing. At this Logan's tranquil expression was split by a happy smile as he listened contentedly.

"Merde, Remy's head is feeling like he just went ten rounds with Sabretooth. Looks like de Cajun lost too. Hello chere."

"Remy ahm so sorry fer hurting yah like that. Ahm going tah make it up to you."

Rogue leaned closer to Remy and brushed his tousled hair with one gloved hand. She ran her hand over Remy's cheek and he would have enjoyed this more if he wasn't afraid about being kissed again. He had also just noticed that his shirt was missing and he was securely strapped to the bed.

"Ahm going tah come back later Remy, Cecilia's going to look after you for now."

"Chere, come back and let Remy go," called the Cajun frantically.

Then Cecilia Reyes came in through the door wearing a rather nice black dress and carrying a bottle of champagne. She smiled at Remy and poured him a glass of champagne. Then she got out her medical equipment and leaned close to whisper in his ear.

"Well I'll need to give you a thorough medical evaluation Remy but don't you worry. I'm going to take really good care of you. You know you really are handsome. Now let me listen to your heart."

"Cecilia dis isn't funny. Please stop dis at once. Remy feels rather exploited at de moment."

Sadly Remy's pleas went unheeded.

Jubilee, Hank and Creed were thoroughly exhausted after having literally run for their lives. Fortunately they had managed to make it to the safety of the mansion after having witnessed the fight between Ororo and Jean. Now they were safely ensconced in Hank's laboratory where he was just beginning to realize his folly.

"Stars and garters Jubilee, I never intended for my cologne to be quite this powerful. It would seem I have opened the proverbial Pandora's Box and if we get out of this with our hides intact I swear never to let my curiosity get the better of me again."

"Yeah right, so why aren't I affected and why is Creed behaving like a kitty cat."

"Perhaps because you have been dosed with the cologne you have been rendered immune to its deleterious effects. As for Creed I can determine that in his case the cologne has stimulated the production of dopamine and other endorphins in his brain thus bringing on a euphoric state and explaining his current docility."

"Could ya run that by us fer a second time and use words we can actually understand."

"Fine to put it simply, it's given you a high Creed and I would imagine it's done the same to Logan."

"Yeah I want ta find Logan so I can give him a hug. Then we can be pals just like you and me and Jubilee."

Jubilee gave a strangled squeak as Creed picked her up in a clumsy bear hug and when it was Hank's turn he swore that he felt a rib give way. Sighing heavily Hank gently patted Creed on the head.

"So Hank what are you going to do about this?"

"I shall simply have to find a solution my dear Jubilee but first let us get rid of the remaining Eau de Beast."

"Well that's really going to be fun since we've got to dodge Rogue, Jean, Ororo and any other X-Women. Oh my god we've got to save Wolvie."

"We shall Jubilee but at least we can nip this in the bud. Just think of the chaos if someone else found out about the cologne and decided to duplicate it."

Sinister was smiling triumphantly. The formula was a remarkably simple considering who had invented it. Now he would be able to reproduce it and duplicate the effects of Hank's invention. He was sure that he could find it very useful indeed.

"Oh yes Beast, the thought of your face when you see me enhanced with your serum warms the cockles of my heart. You will flee in terror for your worthless lives before my enhanced might!"

Sinister laughed long and hard and then set about producing a test sample to try out on himself. It would indeed enhance him but not quite in the way he had planned.


	7. Who Wants A Piece Of The Beast?

"By the goddess, what have we done to the roof? It looks as though Juggernaut has been tap dancing on it. What on earth must Logan think of me," said Ororo as she and Jean stopped fighting for the second time.

Looking towards the tree she noticed the feral was gazing intently at some leaves. He must be so furious that he couldn't bear to look at her. Deeply ashamed Ororo rode the winds and paused by the open infirmary window. There strapped to a bed was a panicked Remy who looked up at her beseechingly. Ororo knew she had to save him from his fate. He might even show his gratitude to her by agreeing to be hers for now and ever more.

"Remy do you need help?"

"Oui, Stormie. Please untie de straps and set Remy free before Cecilia comes back wit' de baby-oil."

Ororo flew in through the window and untied the straps before gathering him up in her arms. The talk of baby oil had given her a wonderful idea and so she rode the winds once more intending to carry Remy to the tallest trees where only the birds would see their love.

"Now Remy I will show you how I can be as gentle as a breeze or rage like the hurricane. I can truly be a force of nature but do not fear my love for I will not harm you."

"Remy not so sure about dat 'Roro," gulped Remy as he realized that he had merely exchanged one captor for another.

"Well at least that's over Logan. I'm going to do more than talk with Hank when I get my hands with him. In fact I'll probably spend some quality time with him, just me Hank and a pair of tweezers. A bucket as well to put the loose strands of hair in as I feel like ripping his fur off one hair at a time. No Logan, please don't give me another hug. I don't think my nerves can stand it at the present time."

Logan nodded sympathetically and then pointed his finger in the direction of Jean. Jean had been wondering just who was going to be first when Sinister arrived. Scott cursed and prepared to unleash an optic blast to save Jean but the telepath acted first and in a most unexpected manner. She flung her arms around Essex and kissed him full on the lips. Logan's howl of dismay was met with a ferocious growl from Scott.

"Hey Scott I thought I was the feral guy."

"No I'm the guy with the optic blast and I'm feeling rather cranky so I'm going to blast that jerk to oblivion."

"Hey calm down Cyke. 'Sides ya might hit Jean."

Scott ignored Logan's protests and struck Sinister with the full force of the blast. Logan had leapt heroically from the tree and knocked Jean aside in time. Now Jean was rewarding Logan for rescuing her and the feral felt like he had died and gone to heaven. Another kiss was planted on his stubbly cheek but the beautiful moment was ruined by a scream from Sinister. Looking towards him Jean gave a shriek of disgust at the mad geneticist's hideously mutating form. Quickly she telekinetically hauled Scott from out of the tree and hugged both him and Logan close to her.

Scott's optic blasts had cause extensive damage to Sinister and his regeneration process had reacted with the cologne which contained Logan and Hank's DNA. Now Sinister had regenerated into a form combining aspects of all three and bore an uncanny resemblance to an albino Dark Beast. One clawed finger pointed accusingly at Scott and when Sinister spoke his voice was a slurred growl as he tried to speak through his newly grown fangs.

"You are so going to pay for this Summers, just as soon as I can get Hank to reverse it that is," snarled Sinister.

Meanwhile Mystique had finally managed to track down Victor Creed. She was going to teach those X-Men that they didn't kidnap members of her Brotherhood and get away with it. She was personally going to enjoy removing whatever mind control device Hank had put Creed under and just let the feral rip Beast apart. As for that little madam Jubilee, Mystique intended offering her a place in the Brotherhood. Before that though Raven felt she ought to pay a visit to her son Kurt and foster daughter Rogue. What kind of mother was she if she didn't visit her children when she had the opportunity? Assuming the form of Jubilee she slipped quietly in at the main entrance.

"Now Bobby I've possessed you before so I don't see why this should be any different. Anyway if you wouldn't insist on fainting every time I kiss you I wouldn't have to resort to these drastic measures. You do like women don't you Bobby?"

"Yes Ms Frost but it's just that you're so uh beautiful and you're well err, dressed rather distractingly and it's just well I don't think I'm ready for a woman like you."

"Nonsense Bobby I won't hurt you……"

At that moment they were interrupted by a loud crash as the door was knocked off its hinges and a furious Rogue appeared in the entrance. She pointed at Emma and hurled a number of accusations at her the politest of which implied that Emma was of rather low moral character.

"Well that's fine from a woman who can't touch anyone but still leads Remy and Magneto on. Now stop being a dog in the manger and just go and kiss your reflection in the mirror or something."

"Ah just don't think yah the right type of woman for Bobby. He needs a nice southern gal not some floozy who dresses like a hooker. Besides ah remember when y'all were with the Hellfire Club," said Rogue,

"Well at least I admit my past not like you. I mean you were with Mystique's little Brotherhood and you had to work for a long time to shift that bad girl reputation didn't you?"

Both women gave startled shrieks as they suddenly found their lower limbs encased in ice blocks. Bobby stood arms folded and gazed sternly at them the effect only slightly spoiled by his broad grin.

"Now ladies, just cool off for a bit while I get out with my hide intact huh," said Bobby.

Forming an ice slide he exited at great speed and went off to look for Hank. Hopefully he could cajole his best friend into removing the effects. Failing that maybe he could find someone safer like Ororo or Jubilee. He had to admit he found Emma beautiful and alluring, after all he was male but she was a bit too much. As for Rogue she was kind and caring but he was terrified of her kissing him or that she might forget her strength and do him an injury. Still he had managed to escape and it looked as though he was out of danger now.

That is until he turned the corner and ran straight into Mystique.

"Darn it. Trust that no good Cajun to leave a girl in the lurch. I don't know what I saw in him anyway. Yes he is handsome but he doesn't know how to treat a woman right not like Hank," sighed Cecilia.

Hearing a knock at the door she opened it and the familiar blue furry form of Hank came through. Looking into those gentle blue eyes she saw the warmth and compassion in them. Yes Hank might look like a blue furry gorilla but he wasn't that frightening to look at and that fur was soft to the touch. The most important thing was that he was a gentleman. Smiling she nodded to Hank and bade him enter the room.

"I hope you won't mind Cecilia if I just use the infirmary for a while. I just need to rustle up an antidote to a little experiment of mine that got out of hand. I hope I won't get in your way. Oh and please don't be alarmed by the presence of Victor Creed. Believe it or not he is quite harmless at the moment."

Cecilia took hardly any notice as Creed wandered into the room and looked over at the bed. Eagerly the feral started bouncing up and down on the bed making it creak underneath his considerable bulk. Jubilee wandered in over to the window popping her gum. Logan was apparently engaged in picking flowers and carrying them over to Jean and Scott. Jean looked radiantly happy and Scott as usual was looking worried. Jubilee thought she caught a glimpse of Ororo flying high up in the sky and was that Remy she was embracing?

Cecilia couldn't resist the temptation any longer and went over to Hank. Her finger tips lightly brushed the soft blue fur of his cheek and she felt them sink in to touch the soft skin beneath. He didn't notice as he was too busy setting up some test tubes and other equipment. She gazed at his powerful arms bringing her hand closer and activating her force-field watching his arm pulsate beneath it. Muscle rippled under the velvety fur and she felt an urge to just gently stroke that furry arm. Distractedly she wondered if Hank purred.

"Hank I don't know why I was ever frightened of you when we first met. You're not an animal at all and in fact you're beautiful. I know I apologized before but let me do it again."

"No apologies necessary. Do you mind please but would you kindly remove your hand from my chest."

Cecilia ignored his protests and instead kissed Hank enjoying the soft feel of his fur beneath her lips.

"Oh wait till I tell Wolvie about this."

"Please Cecilia not in front of a minor. Look I find you an attractive and intelligent and I'd be happy to take you out for dinner tonight. However I'm trying to work and this is really most inappropriate behaviour."

"I'm sorry Hank but I just can't seem to help myself."

Jubilee took Cecilia gently by the hand and moved her towards Creed. With an eager purr the feral rubbed his head against Cecilia and then hugged her. With her force field up she would come to no harm but she would be unable to break free against Creed's strength.

"Do ya think you can solve this problem Hank?"

"I have a notion that just might prove productive. Oh my stars and garters!" roared Hank in surprise as an energy blast shattered his experiment into pieces.

Hank bounded back protecting Jubilee with his frame. Even Creed gasped at the sight of the hideous abomination before them. Red eyes burning with hate amidst the coarse white fur and fangs and claws extended the newly mutated Sinister stalked towards Hank. A growl emerged from Essex's throat and if looks could kill Hank would have been a small pile of smouldering ash.

"Despite the enigmatic countenance I theorise that our hirsute albino friend is actually Mister Sinister. Am I correct in my hypothesis?"

"You did this to me McCoy and you're going to pay a heavy price. Prepare to die!"

"Yeah, whatever," yawned Jubilee before a look from Hank silenced her.

The Sinister-Beast advanced upon the blue furry scientist and Hank wondered whether he was even going to survive this so that Scott, Logan, Jean, Ororo, Remy, Rogue and the others could get their piece of furry blue hide.

"It's not just cat's that curiosity kills but Beasts as well. Stars and garters but why did I ever make this cologne to begin with?"


	8. Downfall Of Sinister

Sinister unleashed a low level intensity energy bolt at Hank. It wasn't enough to seriously injure him but it singed his fur and dropped him to his knees. Snarling Nathaniel Essex prepared to blast Hank again and again gradually increasing the force of his blasts until he had reduced Hank to a charred corpse. Then he was planning on crushing Hank into so much ash and then let it pour from his hands while cackling malevolently. This pleasant image distracted him for a few moments.

"If I may be so bold as to point it out, my experiment that you just demolished was a way to reverse the effects of the cologne so that was a rather foolish error on your part," said Hank.

That earned him a vicious kick in the ribs from Sinister. Jubilee noticed that Creed was growling at this and Cecilia was looking angry. If he wasn't careful Essex was going to be in for a world of pain.

Hank suddenly dropped to his knees again, head bowed in submission, groveling and pleading for mercy, heaping praise on Sinister. Like most villains Essex loved the sight of people begging for mercy and he paused to lap it up. He was especially enjoying the remarks about his massive intellect and scientific genius.

"I am gratified by the appreciation Hank. Now you're a brilliant biochemist yourself so I might give you one last chance to reverse your experiment and let you live."

Then with a roar Victor shoved Sinister sending him staggering back to the window. Jubilee then unleashed a massive burst of fireworks which nearly tore Sinister apart and sent him toppling out of the window to the ground far below.

Sinister lay in a singed and astonished heap in a flowerbed far below. He was already regenerating from his latest injuries and fortunately he seemed to be regaining his usual appearance. Looking up he saw Logan was staring accusingly at him. Following his gaze Sinister saw that he had crushed a large number of flowers.

"Ya killed all the pretty flowers. Yer a bad, bad man," howled Logan. Then the feral turned and hollered for Cyclops.

"Oh Nathaniel you poor dear, let me kiss you better," said Jean planting a kiss on Essex's pallid cheek.

"Jean Summers you are a married woman and this is most inappropriate," protested Sinister. Then to his utter horror he saw a very angry Cyclops glaring at him from behind his visor.

As far as Scott Summers was concerned this was the final straw. For once he didn't feel like trying to reason with his enemy or restrain himself from using maximum force. He was beginning to see the appeal of Logan's claw first and ask questions later policy. He spoke no words to Sinister but simply fired optic blast after optic blast until Sinister exploded in a spray of fragments. It would be a very long time before the villain managed to pull himself back together.

Scott stood panting with exhaustion, weary but triumphant and on a deep primitive level feeling extraordinarily relieved. Sometimes it felt good to let loose and he thought that maybe he ought to do it more often. Turning he saw Logan standing next to him with concern shining in his hazel eyes.

"Are ya alright Scott, ya not usually like this ya know. Yer usually responsible and under control and I'm worried about ya Cyke. Do ya want ta talk about it?"

Suddenly it all seemed too much to Scott and he slumped to his knees. He flung his arms around a bewildered Logan and started laughing hysterically before subsiding into quiet sobs. Logan patted Scott on the shoulder and hugged him close doing his best to comfort his leader.

Jean Grey sighed heavily. It seemed nobody was going to be paying attention to her for a while at least. Glancing at the green slime which was all that remained of Sinister she wondered what on earth had possessed her to kiss him. Also while she loved her husband and was attracted to Logan why was she throwing herself all over them? Then she remembered it had all started when Scott began wearing that new cologne.

"Henry McCoy I need to have a word with you," shrieked Jean.

Up in the laboratory Hank was still on his knees practicing begging for mercy. It might be the only thing that would keep him alive when he faced the others wrath. While Scott, Remy, Bobby and probably even Logan would spare him he wasn't worried about them. It was the X-Women he was worried about, especially Emma Frost, Jean, Ororo and Rogue. Visions of the four women relaxing on a blue furry rug filled his mind and droplets of sweat trickled down his brow.

"It's alright Hank, Sinister's gone now so we can redo the experiment. Don't worry because I've got all the X-Men wrapped around my little finger."

"Actually Jubilee I'm more worried about the fact that Jean wants a word with me. Can you say Dark Phoenix?"

"Yeah I see your point. Maybe you could take a trip to Muir Island and assist Moira McTaggert. I bet it would be safe for you to come back here after a decade or three."

Creed gave Hank a comforting hug this time managing to avoid cracking his ribs. As far as he was concerned anyone wanting a piece of Hank would have to go through a piece of him first and he wasn't going to let anyone harm his furry blue friend.

"I think Hank that this has been a case of the road to hell being paved with good intentions. I'll give you all the help I can," said Cecilia who had taken the precaution of donning a surgical mask. Hank gave her a grateful nod thankful that there were at least two X-Women who didn't want to kill him at the moment.

"I'll just go and make sure that the coast is clear then. We don't want any more unwelcome visitors," said Hank as he poked his head cautiously around the door before stepping into the corridor.

He heard a distinctive hum before a kinetically charged tin of paint exploding before him and the bouncing blue beast promptly became the blushing pink beast. Hank suppressed a shiver of fear at the maddened Gambit before him. Hair ruffled, shirt ripped, trench coat reduced to tatters and covered with lipstick marks the Cajun presented a bedraggled but still formidable figure. His reds on black eyes were glinting murderously and he his Bo staff pointed towards Hank like an accusing finger.

"Dis Cajun want a little word with you mon ami."

"I take it that judging from your appearance the cologne was successful then?"

"Sacre Bleu! De effects were too powerful. Now dis Cajun think it best dat you sort out dis little problem oui?"

Hank gulped nervously as Remy placed a charged card at his throat, an electric crackle and the smell of singed fur filled the air. Then with a loud roar Creed burst through the door and grabbed Remy by the collar, lifting him into the air and shaking him like a rag doll.

"Ya don't hurt my friend Cajun," growled Creed punctuating each word with another shake.

"Mercy please, Remy sorry," wailed the Cajun.

Remy breathed a sigh of relief as Creed accepted his apology and put him down. Rubbing his chin thoughtfully Hank tried to smooth things over.

"Now let's discuss this like reasonable mutants and try to work something out."

Before anyone could reply a terrified Bobby appeared fully iced up and riding his slide as quickly as he could. Frantic with fear he leapt into Hank's arms and clutched him tightly.

"Help me Hank, they're after me," wailed Bobby.

Sure enough Mystique, Rogue and Emma Frost were bearing down upon them with only one thought on their mind.

"Flaming hell!"

"Merde!"

"Stars and garters!"


	9. Poor Poor Hank

"Remy mah poor brave Remy, ah'm so sorry fer all that y'all been put through sugah. Ah'm going tah make it up tah y'all," said Rogue gently.

"You forgive dis Cajun then chere, you not angry with Remy?"

"No sugah, ah know that it's all the fault of fuzzy heah, but ah don't think he meant any harm so ah'm going tah forgive him this time," said Rogue.

Iceman hugged Hank close, burying his face in the furry shoulder and whimpering pathetically. Emma Frost had caught Mystique kissing him and had finally put two and two together. Predictably she was absolutely livid since she hated not being the one in control of the situation. Men were supposed to fall for her and not the other way round. It seemed that while she had no qualms about controlling other people's minds she didn't like having a taste of her own medicine at all. Maybe it would be a lesson in changing her ways in future but that was highly unlikely. After all this reformed villain was still rather a bad girl to say the least.

"I don't believe you Bobby. How could you try and seduce me with your cheap tricks," hissed Emma Frost.

"Oh yeah well what about when you possessed him and became the ice queen and all those times you kept appearing to him? Emma and Bobby in a tree, what do you think they're doing? K I S S I N G!" sang Jubilee.

"Jubilation Lee you are dead meat," snarled Emma.

"Now Bobby you're going to find out what it's like to be on the receiving end of a woman's wrath. I just want you to know that we can really get nasty when we feel like it. First a more suitable form is in order," said Mystique as she shifted to Hank's form.

"Wait it was Hank who gave me the cologne," said Bobby leaping out of Hank's arms and hiding behind him.

"You're instinct for self preservation is most galling Bobby but I suppose I shall just have to face the music. Now ladies, I'm working on a way to reverse the formula of the cologne so would you kindly leave airing your grievances until after I've completed clearing up my mess? I'll be more than happy to accept any punishment you choose as long as it doesn't involve too much lasting harm," said Hank with a charming smile.

"By the time I've finished going through your head Hank the nightmares you'll be getting every night until the day you die will make you the bouncing white Beast. Maybe I'll alter the others minds and make them hand you to a zoo as the first yeti in captivity. Perhaps with your delightful inquisitiveness you belong in a cage," said Emma with deathly calm.

"Too lenient White Queen, me I think we ought to castrate him," said Mystique shifting back to her normal form.

An ominous growl was heard and an angry Creed stepped forward along with Cecilia Reyes. Victor put an arm around Hank's shoulder making it clear that nobody was going to hurt his friend. Mystique's yellow eyes narrowed as she took in this little revelation and she pointed accusingly at Hank.

"What have you done with my feral?"

"A side effect of the cologne in ferals is inducing a euphoric state; basically it's made him into a kitty cat. Creed why don't you go and see if Mystique is alright, she's gone awfully pale," said Hank calculatingly.

"Mystie, don't ya worry, I'll give ya a hug and yer going ta feel much better," said Creed wrapping Mystique in a massive hug which left her barely able to breathe.

Two down now since Rogue had picked Remy up tenderly and had flown him to her room to recover. This just left Emma Frost perhaps the most dangerous of all the reformed villains. A mental command forced Cecilia and Jubilee to step aside and her eyes glowed with anger as she glared at the quaking form of Hank. There was a loud thud as Bobby fainted from the force of that withering gaze. With a gesture one of her psychic energy bolts struck Beast in the chest leaving scorched fur. Hank dropped to all fours and took off at top speed, that form of locomotion peculiar to him taking him off at a pace she couldn't hope to follow.

"Come back and take it like a man, you sad excuse for a werewolf reject," screeched the White Queen throwing another lightning bolt.

"Actually I'm a furry blue gorilla ma'am," hollered Hank.

He dashed around a corner and collided with Nightcrawler who made a valiant attempt at clinging to a wall but wasn't quite quick enough.

"Enschuldigung bitte, Es tut mir leid, Kurt mein freund," said Hank as he knocked him flying. A furry blue hand helped the unfortunate X-Man to his feet and Hank quickly poured out his story.

"Das nicht so gut mein freund. Still I shall see what I can do. Hold on tight," said Kurt as he bamfed out with Hank.

"Just you wait till I get my hands on you! Oh great now I've got that sulfur and brimstone smell clinging to my new trouser suit. Oh hell this just keeps getting worse," howled Emma.

Kurt's quick jaunt took them into the garden and Kurt immediately bamfed back to his room. It was exhausting carrying an extra passenger of Hank's bulk even over a short distance. Hank nodded and decided that rest was the least his friend deserved for that timely save. Still furry blue mutants had to stick together. A frown creased Hank's brow as he realized he was standing in something rather sticky. Glancing down he saw his feet covered in a greenish slime and that there were purplish fragments scattered amidst the crushed flowers.

"Stars and garters, I'm standing in what's left off Nathaniel Essex. Oh well this will be just one more reason for him to kill me when he finally puts himself together," sighed Hank. Squatting down he took out a handkerchief and proceeded to wipe his feet clean. After all it wouldn't really be polite to keep treading Sinister into the ground when he walked even if the fellow deserved it.

"Hey Hank it's good ta see ya," cried Logan as he ran up and hugged Hank.

"Yes it's good to see you too Logan. Hello Scott, oh you're not so happy to see me are you?"

The optic blast struck Hank in the chest and sent him flying a dozen yards to crash heavily in another flowerbed. Logan howled in dismay at seeing more poor flowers being massacred but his distress was nothing compared to Beast as Jean Grey was right behind Scott and looking very cross indeed. Hank was caught in a telekinetic grip and yanked skywards where Jean used her telekinesis to spin him like a top rapidly inducing nausea. At the same time she telepathically projects hideous images into the poor fuzzy blue mutant's mind the least ghastly of which was the Blob in a bikini. After about five minutes of this punishment she unceremoniously dumped Beast back to earth.

"Right, I'm through with playing nice. Scott hand me the waxing strips," said Jean Grey in the iciest of tones.

"Wait, please grant me quarter and hear me out. I'm working on a way to reverse the cologne. Just let me finish and you can punish me to your heart's content then," said Hank rapidly.

"Perhaps we owe him a chance dear," said Scott and Hank thanked his lucky stars and garters.

Somewhere in the sewers under New York City thunderous laughter was echoing through a hidden lair. Fatale was frantic with worry as she raced to the side of her master. She found him rolling on the floor convulsed with helpless laughter as monitor screens displayed the current pandemonium reigning at the Xavier Institute. Slowly he got to his feet and wiped the tears of mirth from his furry face. Yellow eyes still glinting with merriment he showed his fangs in a thoughtful smile and nodded to Fatale.

"I haven't had this much fun since I first found out about the Legacy Virus my dear. It seems that once again curiosity has gotten the better of my blue-furred alter ego. All the chaos you can see was caused by one simple little experiment that proved entirely too successful," purred the Dark Beast.

"Which you are of course going to duplicate McCoy,"  

Dark Beast nodded and got back in his chair. He folded his arms behind his head and leaned back, his agile toes tapping buttons on his keyboard and bringing up a chemical formula on the screen. He grinned once more and pointed a clawed finger to the formula.

"The formula will be simplicity itself to duplicate and I believe I can even improve on it."

"I'll take your word for it then McCoy. What are you going to use it for?" asked Fatale feeling curious in spite of her self.

The Dark Beast looked thoughtful for a few moments and absently ran clawed fingers through his long shaggy black hair. Fatale saw he was fingering the gold rings in his ears which indicated he was deep in thought. A claw scratching at a sideburn indicated he was coming to a conclusion and rubbing at his furry chin was a sure indication of triumph. Then he gave her another smile showing his sharp canines and once more thunderous laughter echoed around the room.

"Why my dear, the possibilities are endless," purred McCoy.


	10. Cologne With The Wind

It had taken him six hours of solid research to come up with a suitable formula to reverse the effects of the cologne. Then with the help of Cecilia Reyes it took just two hours to prepare the antidote. Firstly he decided to test it on himself and in so doing discovered a minor side effect. The sneezing fit incapacitated him for fully five minutes and he sneezed so ferociously that he was convinced all his fur was going to be blown off.

"Thank you for the handkerchief Cecilia. Now please remove your mask and let's see if it works."

Cecilia did so and then immediately went to kiss Hank on the cheek. He sighed heavily and looked thoroughly dejected, obviously all that hard work had been for nothing. Then she smiled and gave him thumbs up sign.

"It worked Hank. It was just you looked so cute all sad and vulnerable like that that I just couldn't resist the urge to kiss you."

"Hmm I suspect the other X-Women may not be able to resist the urge to strangle me. Still now we know that it works we'd better start administering the antidote right away."

First of all to arrive was Remy LeBeau looking rather more subdued than usual. It seemed that he had had far too much of a good thing really, the added effects of the cologne to his already preternatural charm proving as devastating as Jubilee on a sugar high. Now he was happy to receive the antidote since when it all came down to it, he needed no help in attracting women, what he really needed was a foolproof method of doing so without Rogue noticing. 

"Remy would like to say dat dis has taught him one t'ing. From now on Remy swear dat he will be a one woman man."

"Ah think ah heard that all before yah know sugah. Ah'm going tah be keeping a close eye on y'all."

The Cajun nodded weakly and left the room. Indeed he did his best to live up to his promise and he resisted temptation for three hours before flirting with Storm. Rogue turned towards Hank and shook her head at him; white streak bobbing and she waved a hand at him as if in disbelief.

"Ah really don't know what we're going tah do with that curiosity of yours Hank. Y'all really managed tah do it this time and ah'm sure Xavier is going tah have a stroke when he gets back from his conference and finds what yah little experiment caused. Whatever are we going tah do with yah huh?"

"You don't seem overly angry Rogue."

"Ah know yah didn't mean tah cause any harm Hank but ah think y'all in big trouble with Jean and if yah want mah advice yah better stay out of her way sugah."

Scott was next and Hank noticed that he seemed even more tense than normal. There was a rather alarming tic in his left cheek and his hands wouldn't seem to stop trembling. After the antidote had been given he flung his arms around Hank hugging him close and sobbing hysterically for long minutes. Hank made soothing noises and patted him gently on the head in what he hoped was a reassuring fashion. Eventually Cyclops stopped his blubbering and lip trembling spoke in a barely audible whisper.

"Thanks to you Hank I'm going to need psychiatric treatment for months. I think I'm going to be scarred for life by this."

He left without saying another word. Out in the corridor a cheerful voice told Scott that he looked as though he could use another hug. There was a high pitched hysterical scream as Scott ran for his life. Then a smirking Jubilee entered the infirmary with the tame ferals Wolverine and Sabretooth following her like devoted puppies.

"What do you think we ought to do with Creed Hank? He's going to be awfully mean when he comes out of this, I don't think he'll forgive us for making him into a pussy cat."

"I think it would be safest to just take him in the Blackbird and release him a few hundred miles away. The cologne will wear off after a few days and he will be back to his usual ferocious self. As for Logan just bring him here and we'll get him back to his usual feisty self. Best to get Creed away since Logan is liable to attack him as soon as the cologne wears off."

A minute later there was the familiar sound as Logan popped his claws, two on either side of Hank's neck and the middle claw just lightly touching his tender throat. The hazel eyes glared menacingly at him but Logan didn't seem particularly angry.

"I'd like ta thank ya fer making me feel completely at peace fer the first time in my life Hank. However if ya ever try ta pull anything like that again I'll give ya a taste of my claws. Are ya clear on that bub?"

"Crystal clear my fine feral friend, please take your claws away. Please Logan, I promise never ever to let my curiosity get the better of me again. I swear it Logan, really I do," pleaded Hank in a rather high voice. Logan finally relented and retracted his claws.

"See that ya do Hank and just remember what curiosity did ta the cat."

Bobby on the other hand thanked Hank enthusiastically after the antidote was given to him. Admittedly he had been terrified at the time but he never would have gotten the chance to be the object of affection for Emma, Rogue, although Mystique's attentions were perhaps not quite as welcome. Still he had decided that there was really only one woman for him.

"I think I'll stick with Jubilee from now on Hank. At least she's only really dangerous when she's had too much sugar or if she gets her hand on your credit card."

"Plus she's probably the only woman here who doesn't think you're too immature for her old friend."

After this was done Hank got down to some serious thinking. Storm and Jean Grey had not been seen for quite a while although Jubilee had heard that they were discussing whether it would be hot waxing strips or a liberal dosing of Nair for him. They had definitely agreed that he was going to be the one who would have to explain it all to Xavier and Jean had also been pushing for "sterner reprimands". All in all he didn't think it would be too healthy for him to be seen around here, at least for the next few weeks. Still at least Logan had spared his life this time and after he had agreed to pay the bill for Scott's anti-depressants he had forgiven him too. First he decided to tell Bobby and Jubilee about his decision.

"I'm going to miss you fur-ball," sighed Bobby.

"Yeah I mean I'll only have one man who I can wrap around my little finger from now on," added Jubilee.

"Oh I assure you my friends that I'll be back before you know it since you can't keep a bouncing blue beast down for long. I just feel that since absence makes the heart grow fonder a few weeks away ought to be enough for Jean Grey to forgive me. Especially when she finds that I've left her a new and improved red hair dye for her."

He turned to Bobby and hugged him tightly nearly cracking his ribs.

"My cryogenic companion, keep up the pranks."

Jubilee threw her arms around Hank's neck and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

"Bye fuzz-ball, does this mean that while you're gone I get to eat all the Twinkies around here?"

"Yes I believe it does Jubilee."

"Yahoo!"

Hank gave them one last smile and went to his room to pack his belongings. As he did so he couldn't help but notice a certain sinister presence and turning he wasn't entirely surprised to find himself staring into the burning red eyes of Nathaniel Essex. For once Sinister's dead white skin seemed almost pink since he was flushed with rage and he was giving a growl worthy of Logan. 

"I swear Henry Philip McCoy that for this infamy you will burn! So swears Sinister!" snarled Essex before teleporting back to his lair.

"So what else is new," sighed Hank as he shrugged his shoulders. Then someone poked him in the ribs and he turned to see Mystique also livid with rage.

"You are dead meat Beast," she hissed before stalking off with as much wounded dignity as she could muster.

"Well Raven you'll have to get in line behind Sinister, Jean and Creed."

Shaking his head and whistling a Britney Spears song Hank set off to find the only other woman who didn't want a piece of his furry blue hide. Finding Cecilia in the lounge he settled down on the sofa with a heavy sigh trying his best to look thoroughly dejected so of course she tickled him until he begged for mercy. Plopping herself on the arm of the sofa she gently scratched the soft blue fur on his arm and gave him her most charming smile.

"Well Hank have you given any more thought to joining me in this little medical research project? I mean it will be a whole month away so it'll give time for the dust to settle and you won't be lonely since you'll be with me."

"Indubitably my dear and I am pleased to affirm that beneath the plush blue fur my heart is bounding with joy at the prospect. I just have one final conclusion from our little adventure?"

"Oh and what would that be Hank?"

"Cecilia, I love you."

"I love you too Hank."

They kissed.

"You know Hank, we've got a few hours to kill before we need to go and catch the plane," whispered Cecilia as she leaned her head against his shoulder.

"Stars and garters, I was thinking exactly the same thing," he exclaimed with a wink and a grin.

Meanwhile another Beast was also feeling rather pleased with himself. Now he had perfected and improved on the formula he could hardly wait to try it out. First though he was going to have a little fun.

McCoy grinned and admired his reflection as he finished adjusting his tuxedo. With fur brushed to perfection and hair neatly groomed he looked good. Now with the addition of a little cologne he was sure to be a big hit with the ladies. After all even mad scientists deserved a little fun and all work and no play made McCoy a dull Dark Beast.

"Well McCoy my boy we are going to have fun tonight!"

Then he gave a savage fang filled grin and his yellow eyes glinted wickedly.

"Oh and Hank the trouble you have already been in will be as nothing compared to the diabolical and devious uses to which I shall put this "Eau de Beast". Suffice to say that they don't call me Dark Beast for nothing! Oh Hank I can almost pity you but unfortunately I'll be laughing too hard at the havoc I cause," purred Dark Beast.

With that he allowed himself a last chuckle secure in the knowledge that the true threat of "Eau de Beast" had only just begun.


End file.
